On Turning 26 and Why I Kinda Dreaded It

My birthday was a little over a week ago. I crossed over the 25 marker and stared 26 in its face. Twenty-six. How in the world I’m I 26?! As my birthday drew closer, my excitement grew at the thought of all the birthday festivities I had planned. At the same time, I tried to suppress any reflective thoughts on what it meant to me to reach this age. As the day slowly approached, I became consumed with studying. My block exam was just 5 days after my birthday, I figured any and all celebration should be postponed till after. Even though my birthday was on a Saturday, I planned to do nothing but study. Thankfully, a friend and classmate of mine convinced me otherwise and I decided on a last minute brunch.

I am thankful for twenty-six, I truly am. On my birthday, I decided to confront those reflective thoughts. Twenty-six. A reminder that I am getting older, a reminder that the year I graduate medical school, I’ll be turning 30, a reminder that I still have residency and probably won’t be done till I’m either close to 34 or 37 years old depending on my chosen specialty/ sub-specialty. Twenty-six, a reminder that time keeps slipping past. Sigh. I am thankful for twenty-six, I really am. I am in medical school, I have accomplished a LOT, had different experiences, traveled, had a paper published in a journal, I am truly blessed. I suppose just the thought of knowing I’m losing my twenties to school is disheartening. Comparison is the thief of joy, so I try not to think about fellow classmates starting their residency at 25 or 26 years old, while I’m over here a first year medical student. Curve balls and med school right?

Last year when I turned 25, it was relatively uneventful. I had an exam I was studying for and didn’t celebrate much (although my awesome classmates did surprise me with cupcakes and cookies. My boyfriend also later took me to a Thai restaurant). I remember feeling unexcited about my birthday and joking on snapchat that though 25 was wack, 30 would be AMAZING. 30 would be truly something to celebrate. 30 I would really begin to live and enjoy life.

I realize now how wrong that thinking was. Life happens now. Life is literally happening right now and yea med school is hard, yea it feels like I have no life besides studying at times, but I can’t let this prevent me from celebrating life. That said, I was able to celebrate my birthday this past weekend and it was SO. MUCH. FUN. To the point that I actually lost my voice haha. It was a whole weekend celebration of mine and my boyfriend’s birthdays (He’s also an October baby). We celebrated in Washington D.C., had a few of my closest college friends come – one of which flew in from Chicago right after her Surgery shelf exam. I truly felt the love and it was one of the BEST birthdays I had celebrated in a while. The time spent with friends, the surprise flowers and gifts from my boyfriend, everything was perfect. Twenty-six, I am thankful for you. Oh so very thankful.

2 comments

  1. Love this post. Just know that you have certain achievements and life experiences that those students who’ll be starting residency at 25/26 don’t have! And I definitely am a huge proponent on living life now and not pushing it off till later! Happy late birthday Derin!

    Liked by 1 person

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